Dec 31, 2016

My Son Aryan & My Baby Avantika

Today is 31st of 2016. Both of you growing up fast. I have seen god in your eyes, in your hugs, in your smile, in your laugh, in your tender hands and feet, in your breath and in everything that make you.  I truly felt you are my  walking, living  talking god  who has come down to live with me.   I wanted to raise you in pristine environment  with values, virtues, ethics, compassion and love. so the you imbibe all the virtues for becoming a good person devoid of negative emotions. I dreamt of a future where im there with you always to guide you, believed that is my purpose in life.

Unfortunately you have been separated form me by evil who are only after money- some how by hook or crook extract money keeping you as hostage. little do they realize how crooked they are and how futile their malicious actions are. They will burn down with their own greed.

I'll wait for you  till the day you are grown up and where you are without fear come to your Papa.  I know  you come back to me.

I love you and miss you Kanna & Baby. My Prayers are with you to protect you from poisonous environment around you.


Your truly loving Papa. 

Thinking  of you Kanna & Budugum. You are so near but so far. All the demons that separate you from me and all the malicious evil that exits I pray for you everyday for your protection and well being. 

Precious Time

You have been robbed of precious time, love affection, experiences with near and dear ones. I love you and  i miss you . Merry Christmas!!

thinking of you

Dear Aryan Kanna and (budugum) Baby,
It has been months  i have seen you. it has has been 657 days since you were gone.  not a day, not a few minutes go by  by without thinking of you uttering your names. Every moment, I pray for your safety and well being, and protection of your innocence from constant mental poisoning negativity around you. Any normal child will be brainwashed.  I  see god & goddess in you,  hope and wish your inherent self protect you from the evil influences you are surrounded  with retain your soul.

I promising myself that i need to be  health healthy so that when you grow up and seek your father  I'm around healthy and fit. It will be another 4216 days for you to turn 18 ( 2028)  and 4937 for baby to turn 18 ( 2030).  So i need to be alive and healthy for another 14 years and beyond.  You are my true love, you are my first love  and i'll wait for you.  I promise you i'll will be alive and fit when you come to meet me.

Meanwhile i offered to the person holding you away from me   that i'll pay directly for everything for your better education ( best boarding schools- Rishi Valley or Lawrence Lovedale) but she is seeking seeking ransom.


I'll fight for you and i'll be fit and healthy till you come back to me. I love you and miss you. Your Papa.

I don’t know why this separation happened to us, I don’t know what god has in his mind for us. Most of your precious childhood was taken away from me – by crazy minds filled with greed,  and hatred born out of greed. The only thing I keep holding so tightly is HOPE , HOPE that one day you  both will run to me and hug me, I die to hear your voice long to see you.  There are so many times I just flew from US just to see you and get a glimpse of you for few seconds  and waive at you while you as you  get down school bus and enter school.  It was my pilgrimage just like people take to visit god - Mecca , tirupathi , kailash.

I hope god has a reason, i hope  i will know the answer. For now i keep walking with your impressions in my heart. I love Kanna and Baby. 

Your Papa

letter to Aryan and avantika

Kanna & Baby

Form the day I was born and till the day I die there only two people in my life with whom I was in love and will be till my last - those are you both. You are my angels of my heart.  I don’t know how god looks like but I always seen you both as living god and goddess jumping, playing and running around in my house and in my heart.  Every day when I gave shower to you or dress you up, or fed you I felt as if I’m doing this for the my own god.  

However our destiny separated us by most poisonous minds, who constantly feed you nothing but hatred driven by their unsatiated greed, the darkest of minds trying to ruin your innocence, purity and fill you up with hatred, suspicion and fear of the father who is and has been longing to be with you, grow old with you and one day die holding your hands in peace that I did my duty to my gods by turning them into beautiful  and well educated souls!

Your souls your tender minds cant not decipher lies from truth, but your father 

To my baby darling Avantika

Letter to my daughter on women's day

Darling Budugum Budugum,

 

Today is International Women’s day and you being the most important women of my life, I thought of dropping an email to you, but you are too little to read. One day when you grew up your will how much your papa longed to be with you and celebrate your childhood, and be a parent in your life. 

 Unfortunately, I’m so sorry I am not able to see you grow up as I so much want to. Please don’t blame people or the world for this. A lot of life is simply luck and mine is running out.

Most dads and daughters have decades to chat around while playing, studying, driving we don’t have that time. I wasn’t able to drop you off on your first day at school, pick you up after your extracurricular classes, hold you when your heart hurts or cheer when you are winning. But while your Papa will keep trying till the end of his life, I thought I’d try to give you some life advice on the women’s day. I hope it gives you some comfort.

 

School

Everyone will say it’s vital to work hard at school. Hopefully you’ll always do your best. I did well at school but did it do me much good in life? Not really. School work is important, but make sure you have fun too.

Career

Do what makes you happy and that you enjoy. If you do so, life suddenly becomes much, much easier.

You may need to start a few different careers to find the one you enjoy, but so be it. One life, one chance.

Manners

Always remember your please and thank-yous. The reason I drum manners into you is because they will help you throughout your life. Always be courteous, especially to elders. Remember to write thank-you letters for gifts of kindness as it is always nice to act with grace and gratitude.

Remember to respect everyone and please be human & sensitive to others.

Learn to Drive Cycle

Most dads teach their daughters to drive and usually fall out in the process. Make sure you learn how to drive as soon you can – it opens up the world for you.

Travel 

It’s a cliche to say travel broadens the mind, but it’s true. See as much of the world as you can. 

Be Happy

You never laugh at 50%: you always laugh at 100%. Your laugh takes over your whole body and is highly infectious. I hope you never lose that. There is no point in asking you not to be sad when I am not around. I know you will be, princess. And I wish I could be there to wrap my arms around you and snuggle you until you smile again. 

Believe in Yourself

In life, many people will say you cannot do things. You make up your mind. Can you? Do you want to? Big challenges involve risks so make smart choices. Those who told me I couldn’t do certain things didn’t want me to do them. If you want something, it is nearly always possible, so do your best. I’m sure there’s a hell of a lot you can achieve!

Remember power brings responsibility, never misuse the power you get. 

And finally… Thank you for being you, Budugum. Thank you for paying me the biggest compliment of all time by calling me Papa. Having you as my daughter is the greatest honour of my life. Thank you for teaching me more about love and happiness than any other person.

Enjoy your life. Don’t rush through it. Papa is trying hard to be with you and Aryan! 

All my love, always, to you will be my god and goddesses!! Wish you a very happy women's day!!

Papa

Aryan Kanna and Baby Avantika, 

You are being constantly poisoned against your own papa  by none other your mother and maternal grand parents. They are hell bent of separating you away from me.The reality is i'm your father and I love you and and you used to be so attached to me. I love you  and miss you nanna. I know you are innocent kid who is being used as pawns in er vendetta led by greed and deceit.

Feb 05 2016

Dear Aryan Kanna and Avantika baba,
I'm fighting through this court systems to secure your future, you have the right to get the best in the world. You have right to get best education, go  to best schools  in USA and a chance to get into top ivy league universities. Unfortunately fate has taken all this away from you and away from me. You have been constantly been poisoned to  hate your own loving father.

Court has given me two days to be with you. I came down to Mumbai from USA to be with you only to realize that you are not allowed to spend time with me by crooked manipulations. i'm just watching helplessly  to spend time with you and hope to secure your future.I love you i miss you kanna and baby fellow.

memories

Hi Aryan Kanna and Avanitka my Budugum Baby ,
I love and I miss you! You are always on my thoughts. I cherish every minute i spent with you. You Grand Mother, Nanamma, is in hospital longing to see you and Avanitka as it has been more than 2 years since she last saw you. She just wanted to catch a glimpse of you both. I earnestly requested your mother but of no use. None of your paternal grandparents have seen you.

You both re being alienated, brainwashed, poisoned  a day by day from me. You were both sol glued to me while we are in USA. I love Nanna, I love Kanna. I pains to see you , such a innocent and kid, in whom i see god, utter bad words on me under the influence your maternal grandparents and oyur mother.

You are my god you are my Shiva , you are my  Krishna, you are my everything.  I see god in you. I love you and i miss you. I know one day you will come to me. I'l wait for that day.