its has been 3 days you were gone

It has been 3 days since you were gone. Trying to be a man - not to cry and show my emotions- and come to terms with it, but its been difficult. I lost my new iPhone  which has all the pictures and videos i have taken of you during last two months that you are with me ...that is more depressing than anything else. May be it has to go too - so that all memories of you have to be erased- in order for me to live. Otherwise it would be difficult to live, a constant question keeps ringing in my head, what did i achieve in life??? nothing ..absolutely nothing. And no interest to do anything just mechanically living....cause i cant die as there my parents who as it is so depressed with all these police/court cases and lost respect in society and they wont be able to bear it if  they lose me.  I don't have a meaning to my life after you are gone. I guess  everyone has to go one day, i too would, sooner or later. what is the point in developing these attachments and everyday crying and dying slowly. My parents and sister endured all the pain and suffering because of me and no fault of theirs, still stand  by me. they made me what i'm today. I think at least need to give them some comfort in their last phase of their life. May be i wont find happiness with all this but at least i'll try to find peace, as long as i live.
Good luck to you Aryan, and you always have my blessings.